You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Randomize
