im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I would fuck him just for his dog
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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