That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
