i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
