it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
