omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
