Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
The feeling are messing with the penis
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Randomize