He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
wrigley field is MILF paradise
Where did you get a picture of my penis
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
