No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
