words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
You took a bar mat shot.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
