just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
