I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
