after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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