Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Randomize
