i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
i need some magic done to my vagina
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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