He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
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