What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
