Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
