Yo dont text me then not text me
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
