my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
