Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
