would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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