Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
