They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
