i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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