i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
a search helicopter?!
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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