so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
