just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
So vagazzling was a success
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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