Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Randomize
