Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
