Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
