just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Randomize
