I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
