Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
