Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
