Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
