So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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