I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
