I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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