I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
