she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
