she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize