It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
