It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
