Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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