It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I'm lost and stupid without you.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
