you lied. pity sex is amazing.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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