In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize