I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
