I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
