I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
