Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
i believe in u and ur pee
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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