bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
