Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
