i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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