are you still at the devil's house?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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