why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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