it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
There's always time for handjobs
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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