Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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