Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
